Hope's Last Stand
by fallingintodusk
Summary: This story follows Thane and Kristi Shepard, taking place immediately after the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2 and into Mass Effect 3. Thank you Zevgirl for being an awesome and hard working Beta. Rated Mature for later chapers, some hurt/comfort.
1. Recovering from Suicide

Kristi Shepard entered the cabin of the _Normandy SR2_. Adrenaline pumped through her every fiber as she peeled the heavy armor off of her body piece by piece. Blood and sweat rolled off of her ivory skin dripping onto the floor beneath her. She was utterly exhausted, and her muscles cramped and twitched deep within her body.

The mission was a success; her and the entire crew had survived the unspeakable odds to stop the Collectors. But the lives they had lost to get here weighed heavily on her shoulders. She was not perfect, and many mistakes were made along the way. She placed her palms on the desk as her head fell. _I should have saved more of them. I was too slow. _Her perfectionist nature bit at her subconscious. Shepard was more than a name to people in the galaxy; she was the first human Spectre, a leader and a hero. She was an image of hope to those who believed the coming of the Reapers.

Her shoulders ached as she picked them up, straightening her spine and clearing her head. _Okay, pull it together. I have to give a speech in thirty minutes for God's sake. _Shepard stripped off her undergarments as she ran hot water in the shower. She breathed in the steam as she looked in the mirror, barely recognizing the woman staring back. Her hair was matted in blood against her scalp, darkness circled under her eyes, her pupils reflected the cybernetic implants as evidence of her old scars ran up and down her face. She dipped her head to splash cold water on her face.

Suddenly, a cool hand slid softly along the back of her shoulder.

"Shit, Thane!" she said as she spun around, her face level with his chin. Shepard stood before him stark naked, pale skin glistening from the steam of the shower. "You trying to kill me, Krios? You know, sneaking up on people all the time must not have won you many friends."

Thane stood tall over Kristi, with an uneven smirk across his face. "Yes, Shepard, all those whom I snuck up on are now dead." Thane loved to tease her, and sneaking up on her was one of his favorite pastimes.

"Don't Shepard me," Kristi said with a slight look of annoyance.

Thane smiled at her and took her into a much-needed embrace. He wrapped his long arms around her, one hand in her matted hair, the other next to the soft flesh of her breast. "Siha, that was quite possibly one of the hardest moments of my life. I watched your every movement. The importance of it all was insurmountable, but yet I could only see you."

"That sounds safe," she teased him, relaxing into his body. "I can't believe we made it, Thane, really, to have the whole crew survive, and you're here holding me. It's all very surreal."

"I know, dear Siha." He led her to the hot stream of the running shower. "The Gods were kind to us today. We shouldn't have been so lucky. I am not letting you out of my sight for a long time."

Thane took his jacket off, throwing it on the bathroom floor. Shepard always marveled at his body. She studied him briefly, moving her eyes to meet his. "Well, we might have a problem then, Krios. You know, tomorrow we dock at the Citadel. They will be waiting for me. That damned Batarian colony, I'm a war criminal now."

Thane grabbed the bar of soap, delicately rubbing it into his large scaled hands. The milky soap turning his hands a pale green. He began to wash the blood and grime off of her, starting with her arms and chest. "I have trouble believing they could lock up the savior of the galaxy for too long. You did what you had to do. The Collectors have been stopped and the Reapers postponed. Mordin is compiling the evidence as we speak, Siha. Do not worry yourself at this moment."

He twisted her around so her back was to him. Thane starred at her soft ivory skin and her beautiful curves, transfixed by the way the water droplets slid down her spine and hips. He continued to delicately wash her back, burning the memory into his mind. He gathered her ruby hair in his fist, pulling it gently so her head dipped back and under the water. Thane began to wash her hair and look over her body for any cuts or abrasions from the battle.

"Are you planning on joining me, Krios?" Shepard questioned. "I can't imagine you would go through all this trouble just for the view?"

"I am actually quite enjoying myself back here," he teased. "No, I regret to say I will not be joining. If I do, things may get out of hand, and you won't be able to address your crew."

Shepard pouted, sticking her bottom lip out so he could see it. He reached for her chin, turning her head just enough to kiss her lips, his tongue breaching her mouth for a moment. Shepard closed her eyes and let out a small moan. The water clung to Thanes scales and jumpsuit. He released her and finished the duty of washing her hair.

"Thane, you should get out of this steam. It's not good for your lungs." She turned to face him, placing a hand on his chest.

"Agreed. You have a few wounds on your back, legs and arms, Siha, as well as a heavy one on your scalp. I will go prepare the Medi-Gel with Doctor Chakwas while you finish. Make sure to stop by before you go to the comm room."

"Thank you" She gave a weak smile as he picked up his jacket from the floor and exited the bathroom.

Shepard was alone again with her thoughts as she finished her shower. She turned off the water, dried herself and headed to her wardrobe to change.

Her mind burned with the thought of the days ahead. She had enough problems: the council's questions, The Illusive Man's anger, the possibility of incarceration for her crimes, and the Reapers. _Why did I have to get involved with a dying man? _ She thought, feeling guilty. _I love him, I would do anything for him. How can I possibly function when he is gone? How can I uphold my duties if I lose him? _Tightness settled in her chest, a lump gathered in her throat, and her heart picked up speed. She helped her entire crew with their problems, but who was there for Shepard? She clenched her fists, turning her knuckles white, and tilted her head to the stars, letting out a frustrated "Argh!" It was too much for one day. She grabbed the bright blue cocktail from the shelf and poured it filling the glass half way. She slammed it back at once and wiped the sides of her mouth with her forearm. The drink burned as it went down, but immediately numbed her mind and thoughts. She finished dressing, expelling Thane from her mind as she did so.

She collected herself and took a deep breath as she went over her speech again in her head. _Ok, you can do this, just like all the other times. _ Except it wasn't like all the other times. This was an end. Her crew would be departing in the morning. She would be taken into custody. She could feel a lump in her throat, and her head ached. _Breathe. _She brushed her hands over her uniform smoothing out a few wrinkles and tucked her damp hair behind her ears. The door whizzed open as she exited her quarters for the Comm Room.

"Excellent speech, as always Commander." Thane grabbed two glasses off the shelf and poured them each a glass of red wine. "You always have a way with words."

Thane and Shepard settled onto the couch. The lights dimmed creating a muted blue and purple glow, and a soft sweet female voice filled the air. Shepard leaned her back into the curve of his waist, her knees bent up and head relaxed on his chest. Thane's arm draped over her, his hand stroked the skin of her exposed thigh. _If only life were normal. After tonight, I may never have this pleasure again. _At that thought, she took another drink.

"Thanks. I didn't exactly plan for that one. I didn't think we would come out alive." She stared beyond the translucent ceiling, watching the stars pulse radiantly. "Really though, how crazy is it to walk into something like that knowing you may never return? Sometimes I question my sanity. I know that what we are doing is necessary and for the future of all species, but it's a lot to deal with, Thane."

"Yes, Siha, I can sense the weight of it all being too much for one person. You are strong, but even you have your limits. You should rest, clear your mind." He touched his nose to her hair as he inhaled.

"Thane, it's not just the Collector base, the Illusive Man, the council after my ass or all the lives we just lost…" She turned out of his grip to face him. "It's you. What are we doing? What do you want with me? Wouldn't you rather spend your last days with your son instead of worrying about me?"

"You are my life, Shepard. I would be dead already if it weren't for your intervention. Why do you say these things?"

"Because, Thane, in this line of work nothing is constant, nothing stays. I lose people all the time, and I can accept that as part of my duty… But I can't bear to lose you." She recalled Liara's words and it hit her hard in the gut. _A few stolen moments with Thane before the inevitable… _

Deep in her heart she knew Liara was right. Tears swelled in her eyes, stinging her cheeks as they rolled down.

Startled, Thane turned her body around and gripped her head in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "Siha, please do not mourn for me when I am still breathing! We have now, we will have more time." He was obviously startled at her instantaneous flow of tears and was at a loss for what to do.

"Thane, things aren't going to be pretty out there in a few months, I might not be here for you when…" she sniffed and put her head into her hands weeping. The feelings were magnified by the soft music of her cabin and her one too many glasses of wine. The room spun softly around her. "Why won't you even consider a cure?"

"You know it isn't that easy!" Thane was now getting worked up and he stood, leaving Shepard on the couch with her head in her hands. He paced the room, eyes steadily focused on the floor below. "There is no cure for Kepral's, my disease is too advanced and a transplant wouldn't give me but months."

She stormed him, balancing her gaze inches from his face, anger behind her words. "Months may be all we have before this whole shit storm gets under way. I need you until the end, Thane. You promised to protect me. I can't be abandoned again!"

"I am not abandoning you, Shepard. He took her by her shoulders steadying her as he stared into her piercing green eyes. Please understand how hard this is for me as well. I live with the hope we will be joined together in our next life. Hopefully our next cycle will be more accommodating than Reapers threatening to destroy all organic life."

"What about Irikah?"

The words burned him like a hot iron rod into his side. "Do not bring Irikah into this. You loved before did you not, Shepard? And what do you say about those you loved before? Are they tossed aside for me? Everyone we love shares our soul, they become part of us." His voice went calm as he led her to the bed by his hand. "Siha, we can only live in the present. I cannot dwell on the life and mistakes I made ten years ago. I intend to be there for you until my last breath. But I will no longer be able to fight beside you."

She sat on the edge of the bed thinking over what he said. Her eyes traced the metal beams on the floor. "It's just too much. I have the war to prepare for and I am going to be taken into custody… What if I lose you while I am locked up?" She put her head in her hands and could feel the pulsing of her head on her fingertips. "I have lost all control right now, Thane. This isn't a position I like being in. I can't handle it."

He wrapped an arm across her chest and pulled her back onto the bed, bringing her close to him. "I'm here now." His hands methodically rubbed her back as she stilled in his arms. The exhaustion was taking over her body.

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Her other senses took over as she felt the heat of his body and the rhythm of his breathing. A sad song filled the air as they lay together, lyrics foreign to the Drell's ears.

_Dimenticar...  
O non più vivere  
Ormai, salvo...  
La notte... la notte... la notte...  
_

"Siha?"

"Yes, Thane?" she questioned sleepily in his arms.

"What is this song? My translator doesn't pick it up."

"It's Italian, from Earth. She mourns for a lost lover, _Spente Le Stelle… _ She waits for him until the stars no longer shine."

His eyes tensed as he squeezed them from the corners, as pain filled his chest. He wrapped her body in close to his and said nothing, planting a long kiss on her forehead. The sweet smell of her skin, the gentle melody that filled the air, taste of wine on her lips, the warmth of her body against his scales… A memory he would cherish and replay in his mind in the coming months. He wanted more than anything to protect and guide her in the days that lie ahead. But he could do nothing more than hold her, until finally exhaustion took his Siha into slumber.


	2. Everything Lost

_Her melodic voice awakens me from slumber. She calls for me, thrashing and afraid. _

"_Siha, I am here."_

_I grab her, still her jerking body. Eyes flicker awake. I hold her in my arms, calming the panicked breath. Her head falls and cradles into my neck as I comfort her. She pulls away and stares into my eyes momentarily, then lunges at me, with need and desire, an insatiable passion. She rips at my undergarments and tosses the fabric to the floor. Her mouth finds mine, tongue filling it. _

_I am consumed with a primal urge I cannot suppress. Her lips are soft and I bite the edge. She moans. Mouth tastes of salt and blood as our tongues dance to a silent tune. Lips trail kisses down my chest, to my stomach, across my groin… She takes me in whole and I hiss with pleasure, bucking my hips forward. She goes faster and faster… I can't hold on. I push her away before my inevitable release. I grab her waist and delicately turn her onto her back. My hands explore her soft flesh. I run my tongue over her breasts, moving lower, down across her abdomen. Her skin is damp and beaded with sweat. _

_She pushes my head further down; I resist her for only a short time before spreading her apart and licking her silken folds. She is slick and tastes sweet. My tongue pleasures her while fused fingers enter her, slow and methodical at first. I pick up pace and she moans, digging her nails into my scales and dragging them across my back. The action causes a deep rumble to escape my chest. She orders me to take her. She is always on top.. She positions herself for my entry. She sinks down on me and I purr, the feeling euphoric. Sea green eyes pierce my soul, and my memory burns her figure Her eyes grimace and her head falls back, as the stars pour their light upon us. _

_I keep my pace slow, enjoying every movement. Her silhouette is bathed in an aquamarine glow. My hands tangle in the fire. I move faster, her hips matching my rhythm. She calls my name causing my heart to hammer. I grab her hips, pulling her into me as we rock. She begins to moan, louder and louder. _

"_Thane!" she yells. _

_I feel her spasm and clench around me. I follow and release, spilling into her as my fingers graze her thighs. Her form slumps, falling softly on my chest. Her breathing slows. We hold each other, for possibly the last time. We don't move, we can't move. Sleep takes us away._

She awoke as a crumpled figure on his chest. The artificial dimmers that ran the floor of the Normandy had begun their omniscient glow, a sign it was around 06:00 Earth military time. The thoughts of the dreadful day ahead began to consume her mind. She stirred, pushing up off of him. His eyes blinked and flickered to alertness. Thane said nothing, but put a cool understanding hand upon her cheek as she left his side.

She gave the faintest smile in return and slid off of him. Her bare feet pattered onto the cool surface of the ships floor. She grabbed a loose sheet, wrapping it around her and walking to the bathroom. Thane lay in silence, watching her figure until she disappeared behind the door.

Putting both hands on the sink, Shepard cocked her head up reflection staring back. Her bottom lip was tinged red with blood where he bit her earlier in the night. She was happy it was there. She was proud of it. A memory she could take with her.

_Two hours and it's all gone. No doubt they will be waiting. Handcuffs and all. Everything lost, nothing gained. _

The thought made her nauseous, she could feel the tightness in the back of her throat. She sunk to her knees, gripping the rim of the steel toilet. Her head violently jerked forward as she wretched. Foamy yellow bile floated on the water. Palms held her hair off to the side as she gasped for breath. Her head was damp and clammy, and she shakily returned to her feet. At the sink she cupped her hands, throwing cool water onto her face from the running faucet. Dabbing her face, she picked up her toothbrush and began her morning routine.

Silence engulfed her cabin as she returned. The room hung heavy and stagnant with no sign of Thane. The bed was neatly made while her clothes sat in a folded pile near the foot. A smile broke across her face as she made her way to the wardrobe.

In the depths of the closet tucked away amongst Cerberus uniforms, her old Alliance garb lay in wait. She slipped on undergarments before fitting into the wrinkled uniform. The small action would silently proclaim she had no ties to Cerberus.

Her fingers worked the buttons as she thought of The Illusive Man. His anger after the destruction of the Collector Base had demolished the last strand of any working relationship. She was positive The Illusive Man would devote all resources to find and destroy her. He would also try to lay claim to his ship.

The hiss of the door broke Shepard of her thoughts. Thane's tall muscular frame stood atop the steps holding a tray. He gave a loving smile while he walked towards her.

"Siha. You look beautiful." He brought his head down meeting her forehead, placing a gentle kiss. He set the tray on the bed and returned to her side. Shepard had never worn Alliance uniform in his presence, and his fingers tugged curiously at the fabric near the bottom hem. "I've never seen you in this," he observed.

Strong arms wrapped around her figure, and she placed her arms softly on his waist. They swayed together; her head tilted back looking up at him. "That's because a few hours ago I was with Cerberus," she answered. "I need to look the part if I'm going to try and get out of this, Sere Krios," she teased.

He brought his hand to the back of her head, pulling her head gently against his chest. The cool scales felt rough against her cheek as a musky scent fell from his collar, making her weak in the knees. They pulled away from each other, meeting lips in a long kiss.

"Siha, come. You must eat." Thane led her to the bed where the platter lay. Upon it were a few pieces of toast, eggs and Earl Gray tea. Shepard sat on the bed next to Thane as they shared breakfast, enjoying the tea as they spoke.

"I'm not going to pretend like today isn't one of the hardest days in my life. Losing you and the crew in the same day… I think I would rather be back on Akuze," she said wearily. "My inbox has been lighting up all morning. I can't stomach opening a single one. I'm sure the general topic is to surrender, and not to try anything. I just hope Anderson is waiting, and not Udina… That slimy bastard will throw me right to the dogs."

"Yes. The entire situation is a bit problematic. Siha, I really don't believe they can hold you for long. You have all the information they need on the Reapers. Once they see the threat, they will understand why the relay had to be destroyed near the Batarian colony." He stroked her back as she nibbled at the toast.

"What if I tell you I'm not ready? For all of this," she opened her arms wide at the stars above their heads. "Not yet, not now. What I do need is to get away from here. I need break from it all. I need to be with you a little longer," she sighed.

"Yes, I understand," he said sympathetically. "Siha, I was content where my life had brought me. I would have died knowing I lost everything dear to me. I was willing to accept my story had come to an end. I have told you before and I will tell you again, you have awoken me. I am ready to start over, with you and with Kolyat. But we must not run Shepard, my Siha. The battle Goddess Arashu does not hide from her destiny. You must not either."

"Thane, I know what they will ask me to do. Lead the attack on the Reapers. I won't run, and I will bring the battle straight to them. But they are going to try and put me behind locked doors while your Kepral's gets worse and while the Reapers jump the relays." She was overwhelmed and powerless.

Thane refused to start a conversation about his Kepral's when there were only a few hours left. "Well, we should leave, you and me. Go someplace dry," he revealed. She gave a startled glance, words causing her brows to crease in confusion. He brought a hand up cupping her face as Shepard's fingers hung delicately onto the teacup.

"What? Do you think you are just going to break me out of Alliance custody and waltz away with me for a few days?" she questioned.

"Precisely." His extended hand brought her in for another kiss, his fingers tangled in her hair.

Pulling away, her wide green eyes stared back in awe. "Thane, what are you planning?"

"Siha, time is short. For us, for the crew and for the galaxy. I have a plan in motion. You will see soon enough. For now, you have responsibilities to uphold and I must go to Kolyat." He hesitated before informing her of Kolyat's current situation. "Kolyat's troubles followed him to C-Sec, I am going to cut ties with the remaining contacts so he can go about his new job in peace."

"What?" she yelped. "I thought you handled everything, and your days of assassination were over?" This annoyed her. If he were to get into any trouble when she was locked up she would never forgive herself.

"Please, Siha. I am no simple crook. I'll be in an out like the wind. I still have life left in me to finish a simple job," he scolded. "Come. I must ready my things, and you need to finish here." Her cabin was a disaster; she had only briefly started to pack her belongings.

Thane stood, helping her to her feet. Shepard felt dizzy as she stood and tried to push the feeling down. "So, this is it?" her face grimaced in pain.

"Of course not. But I shouldn't linger here, nor shall I be seen with you when you exit the Normandy. I don't want anyone off of this ship knowing of our relationship, or they could use us against each other," he explained.

"Yeah, okay," an annoyed look crossed her face. She turned her head away from him, her eyes avoiding his stare.

"Siha." Two fingers on her chin, he brought her eyes back to his. "I love you. I will be watching over you…" He had more words, but couldn't quite say them. His face panged in anguish, and kissing her softly one last time, he turned and exited the room.

The pit of her stomach roiled, and she raked her hair with fingers, exhaling loudly. As she dropped her hands she looked around her cabin, for what was probably the last time. The fish swam happily in their tank; Kelly had offered to watch them. Her model ships lay delicately within the display. Mr. Nibbles, the hamster, appropriately named after biting Thane's finger when he decided to take him out of the cage, paced to and fro. Data pads were strewn across the coffee table. Her uniforms lie in an unorganized pile by the wardrobe. _Okay, time to take care of this mess. _

The hour of departure was upon the Normandy. Shepard glanced around the cabin, impressed she had finished packing in her depressed state of mind. Now for simpler matters.

"EDI," she called. "What is your status?"

"Shepard, the integration process is complete. Legion and Tali have finished the final installation of my hardware this morning. Within the hour, all my processes aboard this ship will be terminated. I thank you, it has been an honor," she chimed.

"Good," she affirmed. "The Illusive Man's contact ended with the Collector base. Joker has agreed to take you upon himself?" A cackling sounded as EDI patched him through.

"Ay-Ay commander. I wanted to get rid of her, but she begged me to take her," Joker yammered.

"Very funny, Mr. Moreau. The feeling was quite mutual," she retorted. "Shepard, I have been installed in part on your omni-tool, along with the non Cerberus crew. But my remaining hardware will be in Joker's possession." Tali and Legion had been spending any available free time breaking EDI free from the Normandy for months. They severed all ties and information with the possibility The Illusive man could use it against her, the crew, or the Alliance military. The whole process was labor intensive and arduous, not to mention extremely expensive. But EDI was a part of the team, she couldn't risk Cerberus retaking the Normandy and wiping EDI's memory clean.

"Thanks, EDI. That will be all." Shepard didn't know what was going to happen to the Normandy. With EDI it was better to be safe than sorry. She also doubted EDI's presence on her omni-tool would be of any use. The first thing C-Sec or Alliance military did when taking anyone into custody was remove the external component to the omni-tool so it was non-functional.

"It's been a pleasure. Logging you out, Shepard." She secretly hoped it wasn't the last time she heard EDI say that phrase, but she knew better. Carrying a duffle bag containing her belongings to the door, she glanced back, giving one more look upon her cabin. She turned and exited.

The final hour upon the Normandy was drowned in hurried voices and scuffled feet. The ship buzzed with activity, and most carried large military duffle bags to set by the airlock. There were a few crew members lost in confusion of what to do now that the mission was over, while others paced anxiously in anticipation of returning to their previous lives. She attempted to avoid Thane's glance at her final declaration; she wasn't going to get all teary in front of her crew or the Alliance military.

Shepard wasn't one for goodbyes, tears or general emotion for that matter, and she retreated for the conference room as the crew departures had begun.

There was another reason she needed to be the last off the ship. Pride. She would die before her crew saw her at the mercy of Udina and Anderson, hands restrained behind her back. The Spectrewasn't going to be seen escorted away in handcuffs. She paced the conference room for what seemed like an eternity before facing her fear. If she waited any longer, they would start searching the ship.

The Normandy was a hollow shell without its inhabitants. She glanced around as she made way for the airlock. It felt unfamiliar and cold as it lacked the friendly faces and voices. Deep muttering broke her thoughts as she took final steps through the airlock and exited the Normandy.

Receding white hairline and a crooked nose squinted at her maliciously. _Udina._ _Why can't it be Anderson?_ she thought.

"There she is, take her in," he snarled. _What a pleasant surprise after saving humanity,_ she thought.

A mix of C-Sec and Alliance guards surrounded her, hands gripping her wrists, guns pointed at her head. Shepard was still in the wake.

Suddenly, the echo of heavy boots sounded from behind. She grimaced. _Thane… Why didn't you leave sooner…_ She knew why. He wanted observe the situation and take note of her predicament. She cringed.

Her eyes studied the ground as his figure caught the attentions of the guards. He stormed by without a glance. To Shepard's surprise, he released a small warp field knocking a few men on their backs and causing others stumbled off balance.

The action caused her to stifle down a laugh and as she smirked. A few C-Sec officers started after him before Udina threw up his palm, halting them. "Just Shepard. I'll deal with that Drell later," he threatened.

Shepard swore she saw a mischievous grin as he marched away. As the soldiers frisked her, she maintained a heavy gaze upon him. His long coat swayed matching his stride, a duffle bag crossed his body, his hands relaxed within his pockets. She stood still as a storm yet to break rain, until the violent yank of her hands were forced behind her back, biotic handcuffs hot against her flesh. She stood stripped of everything and he vanished.


End file.
